Changing my relationship with failure

Lately I’ve been working on my relationship with failure.

My new reasoning:

• The sooner I fail, the closer I am to not failing.

• If I’m failing I’m probably learning.

• If I’m failing I’m probably growing.

• If I’m failing I’m avoiding “what if” scenarios that will leave me with regrets.

• If I’m not ever failing, it usually means I’m not getting out of my comfort zone. I have too many goals and dreams to stay stuck in what’s comfortable!

I’ve also been working on not taking failure so personally, because I tend to pick myself apart and start doubting my abilities when faced with rejection and failure. Since rejection can be an almost constant for creatives, it’s important to learn to manage it well. There’s a quote from my very sassy late grandma (I miss her so) that I utilize to bring levity to disappointments. “They just don’t know what’s good.”

“They just don’t know what’s good.”

- Clara Ruth Gentry

Isn’t this fantastic? I said it to a friend recently who was a finalist for a job but didn’t land it. It made her chuckle and feel better. I used it myself recently when one of my paintings wasn’t selected for a juried show.

What if we went to this headspace when we are not chosen instead of immediately assuming we’re lacking? This kind of confidence in ourselves and our abilities – in our very self-worth – is paradigm-shifting. In so many cases, selection and success are subjective. Judges, evaluators, hiring managers, critics, etc. all bring their own subjectivity, preferences, and pressures. So much of this has little to do with us.

Life’s too short and precious to be afraid of failure, friends. I hope these little tips help you lighten up and level up. When you feel down, just remember what my grandma used to say. 😊